Just going through it!

I know I can be wrong sometimes. I know that I can be harsh at times. I still love with all my being, but I feel as thoough you don't love me unconditionally. I gave up so much and yet that's not enough. I don't have nothing else to give, I'm all used up. I can't take this heart ache that you put me through. I can't take this heart ache of not being with you!

You get so consumed by what's in the moment. When really you should enjoy the moment. How many times you have to go through the same thing? Some things have changed but not a lot. Then you think to yourself, 'what is all this worth for'? The understanding of what a relationship is. You grow and change. Go through the up's and down's. How many times do you have to go through the down's. It's not so much as counting, but it's more of the exprience in going through it.

When do you say enough. Yes, we both have come a long way in this relationship. We both have been through so much. He has put me through a lot and I don't know how much more I can take. I'm always thinking of something or that something is up. When I should just trust what he does. It's so hard to trust when you have been through the dirt. Then again I allowed all this to happen, because I tolerated this long.

The end of the year it will be 4 years. We have been through so much. He is different in some aspect as well as I . I love him with of me. I feel as though he loves only some of me. He doesn't like to show his emotions, because to him it's not worth it. It's better to let things roll off then to embrace it.

His view of a relationship and mine are two totally different things. I don't know what I can do or what I should do. No one can tell me what to do. This is crazy just feeling like this and being like this. I love him, I really do, but I don't knw if he loves me as much as I love him. This is such a hard battle to fight. I don't want the taste in my mouth to be bitter. I can't let this consume me. I don't know if we can meet half way!