The Courage

It's crazy how things can change in a matter of seconds. I have seen the damage of what lies and deceit can do to a family. Well, pretty much to anyone. Not only am I seeing it right now, but I have been a part of it. It breaks my heart on both ends. People say they don't want to choose sides, but they do it anyways without thinking. I know that keeping a secret from a person you love dearly not only destroys them but changes how they view you as a person. If I could go back and change it I would. Never again will I hold my tongue because I fear the other person will not believe me. Fear, that others would be mad at me and think I am the cause of the problem, when really THE PERSON LYING IS THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM!!!

I am not going to go into too much details, for it involves a lot of people, and now it's in the past. It was someone close to me that got cheated on. I seen it with my own eyes, because I caught them in bed together. Instead of immediately saying something to the other person, I just kept it to myself for so many years. Two kids and seven years later, is how long I kept that secret with me. 

This person was going through it and was finding out little by little all that had been done. This person asked me, "Why didn't I say something?" My reply was, "I was afraid you wouldn't believe me and thinking that I was lying." When I said that, I think it hurt that person more then the act that was done. If I could go back and change, I would! Not only was this person devastated and hurt but heartbroken because I didn't trust that person enough to speak up. Then again in a later part of this person life, I know of the same incident. This time I spoke up and said something.

For those of you out there who believes in speaking the truth, standing up for what is right, I COMMEND YOU!!! It takes a lot of guts and courage to speak out. The problem with people is, it's okay for them to talk about other people and their problems. But when you tell them about how they are and what they are doing, you are consider a liar. How dare you speak against them. The thing is, it's not about breaking up a relationship (any kind). If someone is letting you know that this person is doing you wrong, it's your choice on how you want to handle it. If you choose to stay and give them a second chance, great. If you choose not to, great. That is your choice and yours alone. It's about awareness, for the other person to speak their peace. 

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. The third time, well let's hope there is not a third time. The point is their is two sides to every story. ACTIONS speak louder then words. I know people mess up here and there, but take in to consideration, all accounts and facts. Love is blind, but there will come a time when you have to lift the blinders up! 

GOD IS GOOD!

-One


LJP 2012 

Love unconditionally. If you love with condition it will not work out. For you are trying to cage something that can not be caged.

No followers lol!

I see that I have no followers on this page. It's all good, if I keep writing then they will come. Thinking of starting another blogging page but don't know yet. New to all this.

Just going through it!

I know I can be wrong sometimes. I know that I can be harsh at times. I still love with all my being, but I feel as thoough you don't love me unconditionally. I gave up so much and yet that's not enough. I don't have nothing else to give, I'm all used up. I can't take this heart ache that you put me through. I can't take this heart ache of not being with you!

You get so consumed by what's in the moment. When really you should enjoy the moment. How many times you have to go through the same thing? Some things have changed but not a lot. Then you think to yourself, 'what is all this worth for'? The understanding of what a relationship is. You grow and change. Go through the up's and down's. How many times do you have to go through the down's. It's not so much as counting, but it's more of the exprience in going through it.

When do you say enough. Yes, we both have come a long way in this relationship. We both have been through so much. He has put me through a lot and I don't know how much more I can take. I'm always thinking of something or that something is up. When I should just trust what he does. It's so hard to trust when you have been through the dirt. Then again I allowed all this to happen, because I tolerated this long.

The end of the year it will be 4 years. We have been through so much. He is different in some aspect as well as I . I love him with of me. I feel as though he loves only some of me. He doesn't like to show his emotions, because to him it's not worth it. It's better to let things roll off then to embrace it.

His view of a relationship and mine are two totally different things. I don't know what I can do or what I should do. No one can tell me what to do. This is crazy just feeling like this and being like this. I love him, I really do, but I don't knw if he loves me as much as I love him. This is such a hard battle to fight. I don't want the taste in my mouth to be bitter. I can't let this consume me. I don't know if we can meet half way!

life and mark!

Hello world! Yes, I have not followers but it's ok will have some soon. Not the greatest writer, but I love writing poems. As of now not a whole lot going on. Just working and planning my first party. So, excited. My cousin and sister is helping out. My cousin is starting her business as well. Just really excited that it's the holiday season. Should I say Fall. The year is ending as a new one begin...can't wait!

Change

It's been awhile since I have talked to my aunt...it's good to hear her voice. Life is different right now. Don't know what to say. Changing for the good, I hope! Thinking of doing something drastic, not crazy. Just living my dreams. Be free...living life to the fullest. Love life, be about it! God is good.

thinking

if everything is nothing and nothing is everything...then everything and nothing is something!